Gimme the Loot Is the Best Parts of Film, New York—Hell, Life—All In One Film

Gimme the Loot is a small, personal film in which nothing much happens—or, rather, nothing much happens that wouldn't happen any other day of its two main characters' lives. And yet it's every bit as vibrant and engaging as New York, the city in which it's set.

(Actually, it's more of those things than New York sometimes is. Take the best parts of the spirit of New York and distill it. This is that film.)

Vikings Recap: Episode 4, In Which Rollo Is a More Complex Villain Than I Initially Thought and Lagertha Is Just As Wonderfully Badass As She Always Has Been

The episode starts with Ragnar and company taking the next step on their Big English Adventure by being led by an Englishman they've captured to city of Hexam. Rollo wants to rush in and start busting heads, because he's Rollo, but Ragnar says no, bro, chill out, let's get in a good sleep and murder and pillage tomorrow.

Vikings Recap: Episode 3, In Which Athelstan's Life Sucks and Lagertha Is Better Than Everyone

The episode starts with Ragnar & co. sailing back from Lindisfarne with all their treasure; among said treasure is Adorable Monk (™) Athelstan, whom Ragnar elected not to kill in episode two because he speaks the Vikings' language. Lucky dude. Not so lucky is the monk sitting next to him, who died during the journey and whose body gets unceremoniously thrown overboard. This is instance number one of approximately 15 dozen in this episode of Athelstan's life being complete and utter shit.

Cristian Mungiu's Beyond the Hills Is Amazing, Intelligent, Depressing As Hell

Beyond the Hills is a dreary, depressing, dismal film. It's also a brilliant film, though you don't really realize how brilliant until the end.

The film starts with Alina (Cristina Flutur) visiting her best friend Voichita (Cosmina Stratan), who moved from the orphanage they both grew up in to a convent run by the somewhat ominous Mama and Papa. Alina tries to convince Voichita to leave the convent with her; when she refuses, Alina elects to stay despite her minimal religious faith and problems with authority.

Five Shows I Want to Replicate Veronica Mars' Kickstarter Success

So there's a Kickstarter to create a Veronica Mars movie that earned $2 million plus in less than a day. Thus: The movie is happening. Here are five shows that I'd like to see get a similar treatment.

1) Daria. The world needs it right now.

2) Pushing Daisies. I want to know what happens with Ned's father!
 
3) Merlin. If the fandom can see through their tears well enough to navigate Kickstarter, raising the production budget for a modern-day reincarnation movie sequel (it could still fit within canon!) would be easy peasy.

4) The Adventures of Pete and Pete. Actually, it might be better to leave this one to the halcyon days of the '90s. I'm not sure any return to P&P could live up to the original.

5) Community. Yes, the show's still on the air. But not for long. You know it. I know it. We need to start the rescue effort ASAP.

Review: You Probably Won't Like Admission, But Your Mom Might

OK, maybe that's a bit unfair. Not all moms will like this movie. And some people who aren't moms will. However, my point stands: Admission fits the stereotype to the "Mom date movie" to a T.

It's a good, solid movie with some funny bits and some dramatic bits. The word I keep coming back to thinking of Admission is "tepid." It's meh. It's milquetoast. It's your mom's ideal date movie if your mom likes movies she doesn't have to think about. And also if your mom has bad taste.

Review: With Dead Man Down, Expect the Expected

Alternate title: It's Really Easy for a Trailer to Make a Movie Look Better Than It Actually Is: A Cautionary Tale

Five (+1) Reasons to Watch the History Channel's Vikings

I didn't exactly need a new show to be hooked on, but the History Channel gave me one anyways: Vikings, about Ragnar Lothbrok, a Viking warrior who wants to do what no Viking has done before and sail west for new lands to plunder. The second episode doesn't air until tomorrow (Sunday) at 10 pm EST, but the History Channel already has it, along with episode one, available for free on its website.

They're really, really good. You should watch them. Here are five reasons why, plus one bonus reason that will definitely convince you if the others don't.

Five Reasons The Princess and the Frog's Tiana Is Better Than Every Other Disney Princess (Except Maybe Mulan)

I found myself in a Disney sort of mood the other day (shut up, it happens), so I finally watched Enchanted and The Princess and the Frog. The former was OK. Not great, but good, mostly because of Amy Adams. (I don't know how she managed to play the role of a 500% adorable Disney princess who believes in the power of ~love~ and ~niceness~ without bugging the crap out of me, but she pulled it off somehow, four for her.)

Not emotionally scarring at all. Nope.

The Princess and the Frog was also great, not good. To its credit, it was really (forgive the unintentional pun) unexpectedly dark for a Disney movie. The way the villain dies is absolutely terrifying, and I never thought I'd see a Disney movie where the adorable, comedic relief sidekick is just outright killed. I mean, sure, he's reincarnated as a star to be with his lady love or something (?!?!?!), but... he was fucking stepped on. And he didn't magically survive it. That's some heavy stuff for a Disney movie.

I think that if I'd seen Princess when I was a kid I'd have loved it as much as I love the classic Disney movies I grew up with (mostly The Lion King and Mulan—I have personal problems with The Beauty and the Beast, but that's another story for another time). When I look back at those movies now my nostalgic feelings are tempered by a big dose of awareness for how messed up they are, largely in regards to (I don't even need to tell you this, do I?) their female characters.

But Princess is nicely non-problematic that way. I mean, sure, Tiana still gets married at the end of it. But I'm willing to overlook that typical Disney move because, as a Disney princess and a heroine, she's flipping (pun intentional that time) awesome. And so:

Five Reasons Tiana Is Better Than Every Other Disney Princess (Except Maybe Mulan*):