Haiku Review: Blancanieves

Blancanieves (2012)
Director: Pablo Berger
Starring:
Rating: 4.5/5
Review: Maribel Verdú, Macarena García, Daniel Giménez Cacho, Sergio Dorado
Black and white, silent,
Snow White as a matador
What's there not to love?

Haiku Review: Trance

Trance (2013)
Director: Danny Boyle
Starring: James McAvoy, Vincent Cassel, Rosario Dawson
Rating: 4/5
Review:
Messy, but still fun
Relax and enjoy it—Try
Not to think too much

Haiku Review: Oldboy (2003)

Oldboy (2003)
Director: Park Chan-wook
Starring: Choi Min-sik, Yu Ji-tae, Kang Hye-jeong
Rating: 5/5
Review:
How the holy fuck
Is this remake going to work?
I don't understand.

Alternatively:
Ew ew ew ew ew
ew ew ew ew ew ew ew
ew ew ew ew ew

Seriously. Spike Lee's doing an American version starring Josh Brolin and Elizabeth Olsen, and there's a certain plot twist that's so dark and disturbing it left me wondering how the hell Lee's going to pull it off. Will he change it? Downplay it? The obvious, and preferable, answer is none of the above, because it works in the original Oldboy and is essential to, y'know, the plot of the entire movie.

But damn. I guess I'm just surprised that something so thoroughly messed up (this was my approximate reaction to THAT SCENE) would be getting the Hollywood treatment. Even if it is being directed by Spike Lee and not, I dunno, Michael Bay.

Haiku Review: Masquerade (2012)

Sometimes there's a lot I want to say about a movie. And sometimes there's only about 17 syllables' worth. Thus: Haiku Review.

Masquerade (Gwanghae, Wangyidoen namja) (2012)
Director: Chang-min Choo
Starring: Byung-hun Lee, Hyo-ju Han, Seung-yong Ryoo
Rating: 2/5
Review:

This movie sure has,
for an historical epic,
a lot of fart jokes.